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Monday 3 March 2014

Truth or Dare.


Been a long time here, I just have to show face before I get a blank month of no post.
My thoughts keep revolving around Wana’s various topics on ‘Sharing Life Issues’. I get to listen to her program on radio daily (thank God the days of Faaji FM are over). Though her topics are kind of stereotyped, this is because they mostly revolve around relationships. There is still always something to learn from them. There are a lot of real life experiences out there, I couldn’t have imagined. Tweeted a couple of times on air but really I don’t have any experience to share.
The most intriguing topic for me in recent times is about a woman who cheated on her husband with his best friend (who was also the best man at their wedding), and with the threat of blackmail hanging all over her. She is faced with the choice to comeout clean to her husband, damn the consequences or keep the secret and dance to the tune of the blackmailer.
I was amazed with caller’s point of view. Majority (both men and women) of them said she should never confess. According to them ‘this would be the end of her marriage
What if the husband finds out when the blackmailer makes good his threat? No one was able to give a way out on that.
One interesting answer from a female caller who gave hard facts and I quote’ in this part of the world, men find it difficult to forgive some offences committed by women and infidelity is on top of the list’. Yeah, I agree with her, it’s a man’s world, and a man can cheat and get away with it. No same story for a woman.
However, in as much as I agree with her point, it doesn’t make the act right. The question is; why would you cheat? There are loads of reasons or excuses out there for people to cheat.
Another man called and went ahead to counsel her on how to turn the case around on the blackmailer saying he forced and manipulated her into the act. I was amazed. He went to the extent of stating how she can get a restraining order from the police and rope the blackmailer in completely
Surprisingly, I was amazed because no one chastised her on why she did it. They just went ahead to encourage her on how to conceal the act.Meaning that if she is able to get away with this she will live to cheat another day.
Just One caller, a Female (thank God), she said she should come out clean on the truth with her husband and prays she gets his forgiveness. If not she should keep praying. Her emphasis was on being right with God not Man. That is the absolute truth as hard as it might be for her.
In like manner, I read the opinion of Chimamanda Adichie on the Antigay bill. She was neither for or against the bill she was simply being logical about it. Looking at it from different angles and stating her observations. She was admonished and insulted based on her opinions. Would you chastise her for stating her opinion?
Same way I won’t chastise any of the callers, they are also stating their opinion. However, the trend of answers shows a true reflection of the moral standard in our modern day society.
As usual, feel free to express your thoughts.
I checked the date of my last post and its well over a month. Never mind nothing much is happening. As usual, it’s the usual hectic schedule. Sure February was a good month for us all.
Ponder on this line; don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything
Wishing you the best of the new month.
Zingertots

Saturday 4 January 2014

The 'Missing' Link.

Finally we are in the much expected New Year. Just like every other new year.
It really is 2014.As usual we have wishes, desires, high hopes and expectation.
Looking again at the difference between a year and the next, it is just the going down of the sun and the rising of the sun again just like every other dusk to dawn. Not sure I am making sense to you. However that’s the real truth. The year is just a defined time frame to benchmark or rather measure achievements.
For me everything about 2013 happened in December, so I wondered all I did for the first eleven months. Really, I can’t explain. More like December was the only month in that year for me. Bla bla bla…..  (Just my innocent thoughts from my church mind)
So getting to the business of the day, my topic as usual has a story.
‘The link ‘would have been ideal for my title, but including the “missing” part is ideal to drive home my point. We all have one missing link or the other.
My reference is from the watch night sermon of 31st December 2013.
It reflected on the story of Joseph.
The preacher actually preached on the topic ‘Unprecedented Breakthrough” which illustrated Joseph’s story as a first of its kind considering the fact that in the history of Egypt no foreigner has ever been the prime minister, Joseph’s life laid the precedence. We all know the bible story of Joseph and it has been preached in millions of sermons.
He went further to talk about the supposed misfortune that was the link to Joseph’s breakthrough.
That was potiphar’s wife.
Come to think of it, let’s assume she never tried to seduce Joseph, what would the story have been like?
Joseph would have probably remained in the house as a slave and the best of his life would have been getting to the position of a chief slave in the household.
She would have been the missing link.
Trying to apply the scenario to our individual real life situation.
We all have one link or the other in our lives which we choose to acknowledge or ignore.
That link could be looking so bad and we dare not get close to.
We never can say. Joseph actually fled from potiphar’s wife and that landed him in prison where he fulfilled his purpose.
Come to think of it, when Joseph became the prime minister of Egypt, the wife of portiphar was never mentioned. Talks about her had gone extinct.
Lesson one: Flee, flee and flee farther from every appearance off evil. Saying no to it for once could just be your key out of the dungeon and you have the opportunity to have your own unprecedented breakthrough.
Again, I try to see the missing link from another dimension.
We meet people every day from all works of life. I meet you today and I treat you well, all well and good. If I don’t treat you well, same story. We all live to see another day.
Depending on how we relate, I might be the missing link in your life and you could be mine.
The fact that you don’t treat me well doesn’t make me do same to you. I will definitely feel bad about the way I am treated but really life goes on. There are checks and balances in place for me to move on. Keeping a grudge isn’t worth it. We all stand to gain nothing from holding grudges.
Lesson Two: Build and sustain relationships.
This year, you have to quit all the hating and beefing. It won’t take you anywhere.
So maybe I have stepped on your toes unknowingly (or deliberately), so sorry, abeg no vex, biko. (This is a public apology). You might just be that missing link for me.
Boom Boom!! (My fireworks for the New Year).
Formally, I am saying happy New Year to all my readers. May this be the best year of your life.
I have to say thank you to my God, my Awesome family, the best mom in the world, Oluwabukunmi(shining teeth), Mr Rikky, Delababe, Yolanda Schol,  Bibi&Tim(I just had to join those names),Deronk, my ex boss(the best boss you can ever imagine having), Ak, HOG PR Unit, Bolu, Fikayo…….. So much more to all my readers.  I love you all, you all made my year. We will do the same again this year.  I can’t ask for better friends and I am happy to have you.
Meanwhile, I am still enjoying traffic free roads. Holidays can like to remain. I don’t mind working. I can get home in just 50mins from V.I. too good to imagine.
And the year begins…..
Have a blissful weekend everyone.