Sleepy Head........

3 pm on a Wednesday afternoon and am feeling so sleepy.

I have yawned uncountable times today already. I wish I could get a soft bed to sleep on just for two hours.

I had a very beautiful and stressful weekend, I am using that combination because, it was quite busy yet I enjoyed every moment of it. Congrats to DelaMuyi. I am very happy that I was a part of the celebration. Sure you guys are enjoying your honey moon already.

No serious thoughts recently (sowie!!!).

I need mention i have a stalker now. 08131361091. Thats the number o!!!. Calls me and wont talk. I call back and its not answered(i wonder who the Freak is). Pls Take note for me in case..........

Also,I have been watching more and more movies lately.

I have loads of them on my hard drive and I just kind of decided to watch them after all this while. So no matter how tired I am when I get home I try to watch something before bedtime.

Meanwhile, my project has been abandoned for a while. I wonder why o! (See silly question). Ok I do have an answer; I really want a new supervisor. (Won’t say more than that.).

In other news:

I think there is nothing spectacular going on these days.

Except of cos Christmas in the air.

Maybe am not so excited because it’s on a Tuesday (it’s not joined to the weekend).

I haven’t seen any hamper or gift o!!.

I am highly expectant sha.

Enjoy the rest of your week.

‡zingerthots‡

I can hardly wait for that day........

For the love of kids.

Start off note is that whenever you need a good laugh, just hang out with kids

From 4 yrs to 12yrs to be precise. Trust me you won’t be disappointed.

I teach kids in church and for a while I have been away. Just last Sunday, I got to teach them again.

I had a good laugh and I realized I had really missed them.

Kids talk innocently and honestly, they do not see anything wrong in expressing their opinion no matter how silly it may sound to an adult. Asking very awkward questions, giving you information you don’t require from them .All I do is get a good laugh out of it.

I love their competitive spirit. They are always hyper active in order to stand out.

Usually, I ask them what they had for breakfast before church and I get so many answers, no kidding me, whatever they eat they will gladly tell you from the innocence of their minds and even go further to tell you what they ate the previous night and so on.

Most times when I get home I think back to how the class went and I realize I am laughing alone just remembering a few things about them.

I remember vividly last year, we when we started rehearsals for our carol service, some of the kids seemed a bit reluctant to sing, nevertheless I tried to get a few of them to start off.

The day of the carol service eventually came and the kids that were going sing were given Christmas caps to wear onstage. Before I knew it I had lots of kids crying that they were going to sing because they wanted caps. Thank God I had extra caps so I accommodated the few I could take. I then arranged them in a way that the new kids joining would be at the back.

Another issue came up when some of them said the light on their caps wasn’t coming on. (No be small matter o! see crying o!). I had to plead with the patient and a bit older ones to take the caps that had no lights.

Set to go onstage after settling the cap issues. We had three songs to sing, the first song was to start when they were filing out on stage and the second and third song to be rendered when they are on stage. They were meant to exit the stage whilst rounding up the third song; apparently they got carried away and finished the third song whilst still on stage.  Hmmmmm…….  No song to sing while leaving stage. Seeing all that I started to signal to them from where I was that they should just file out quietly, but they didn’t see me. The next thing I heard was’ Aunty said it is the last song we should sing when going out” and that was the kid holding the microphone saying that right into it!!!.  Everyone just started laughing and clapping for them. Lol. They got off the stage eventually.

This year now with Christmas around the corner, I have to avoid the same mistake that was made last year. Better presentation. Hopefully get them more co-ordinated.

Let’s try to hang out more often with kids; we sure have a lot to learn from them. Ease off the tension by getting a good laugh from them.

In other news……………..

No news actually.

Have a splendid week.

Zingerthots.

How do you break up a relationship?

 Just got a call from my very good friend and it had to do with her ex boyfriend calling to break off their relationship officially after about four months of unofficial break up.

Straight off here I have classified. Official & unofficial breakup.

What it means to me, I would explain, my understanding might be different for yours.

Official means you coming out clean to your prospective ‘ex’ that you are no longer interested in the relationship and give a reason for your action no matter how petty such reason might be.

Unofficial is usually started by withdrawing, blanking out, giving excuses for not calling or seeing and gradually a distance is created and it is expected that the relationship when starved will die a natural death.

As usual, after I did this breakdown it got me thinking. What is really the best way to break up a relationship?

Take note here that am not asking WHY you want to break up; I am asking HOW you want to do it.

I think back to what I have done or see people do and really I fink there is no sane way to do it.

No soft landing when it comes to breaking up.

I am sure a few people would say they have never broken up a relationship (yeah right, you probably married your first love).  Majority of us have done it at one time or the other including our parents and grandparents and beyond .Either officially or unofficially.

Honestly speaking I have done both ways, and I have experienced it being done to me as well.

Both ways hurt, but from experience I would say unofficial is worse.

Reasons; it’s like dying slowly. You are in suspense and you don’t know what to think, which in turn makes you assume and your assumption may be wrong. You keep thinking far and wide to figure it out.

For relationships that are very closely knitted it could be painful for the party that is kept in the dark. You keep wondering what you have done wrong and yet you can’t seem to figure it out. You miss the calls, pings and chats and the sudden/gradual withdrawal as the case may be.

For the Persons that are action oriented (like a friend I used to have back then), they would start finding facts and digging for clues.For instance, they could show up unannounced at their partners place without invitation just to catch him/her unawares (I can’t do this, because I feel you may get to see or find out what would hurt you more).

Ladies especially, usually want to talk to friends to get diverse ideas and opinions both good and bad.

Another thing would be being nosey to things like checking Phones and bb messages to find out anything fishy (trust me; it’s not the best thing to do at all).

Whatever the case is we handle things differently. We have different temperaments and emotional threshold.

To break off a relationship officially is kind of matured, but I have seen situations where it doesn’t end well.

It could go two extreme ways. Breaking down into tears or violence. We have had cases where men and women have been victims of acid bath because of a relationship gone sour.

There is no one worth dying for.

If it’s meant to be, it will be no matter the situation on ground.

It should be a do or die affair.

If you have to walk away from a relationship I wouldn’t tell you to be official or unofficial about it. I would simply say be matured about it.

Study your partner (in this case your potential Ex.) and try to be as nice as possible. (I am not too sure if I have been nice sha, but I think I have been nice since 2009.lol)

Seriously, let’s be wise about it.

I have been wiser over the years and I don’t want to get any wiser on breakup because no one will be doing that to me neither would I do to anyone again.

You could share your opinions on how you think relationships should be broken off and save a soul. (hmmmm……)

So, Bibi Dear, I have always known you to be strong and I trust you will be this time as always. Sure 2013 has the best in store you.

Meanwhile, as usual in other news, lots of things are happening. Am off Blackberry, it wasn’t easy at all sha.  I have been BB celibate for one week and am good. Android on my mind.

As usual Wink wink at the young man who took power horse to avoid sleep and is snoring as I write. I wish you all the best in your forth coming exams.

Count down to Dela babe’s wedding. I am so excited.

On a final note, Happy Birthday to Segun Bonty. (Though as usual I feel like knocking your head now).

Have a wonderful, weddingfull (so many weddings here and there) weekend.

#Zingerthots#

Travails of a Single Mom.

Weird topic, I know that.

 One could be single mom “by choice or not”. My thoughts have been centered on the stated reasons in my own created categories as listed;

“By choice” could be as a result of the following reasons;

1. Getting too old and Biological clock is ticking and Mr. Right isn’t forthcoming

2. Miss independent. She doesn’t want the man wahala and she still wants to be a mother.

3. I don’t have any other. You could fill in the gap for me.

“Not by choice” would be for the following reasons as well

1. The father denies the baby.

2. Death of spouse

3. Divorce……etc

Now I got thinking about the ‘single mom by choice’ part.

Why would a lady just have the desire to be a single mom?

In this insane world I would think there is already a stigma attached to a being a “single mom by choice” (especially in Africa) but putting into consideration the craze in the western world which has really taken over our immediate environment I became nosey to dig out more reasons, because my thoughts seemed too narrow.

My findings are not any different from what my initial thoughts had been centered on, but I was able to get a clearer picture of it, very detailed one.

Really, the reasons I found were simple and straightforward. Women don’t see men as the head anymore. What a man can do, a woman can do better. Women are in heads of various positions in big companies and multinationals. They go to school as much as the men do and financially men are not any better again like it used to be in the past. So why would she need a man?

Taking a closer look at the home front reveals other issues like having her space where she calls all the shots without being questioned more like ‘My House My Rules”. No accountability to a supposed superior sex, no issue of in-laws, freedom of movement and association with desired friends, some don’t even want to change their surnames and more importantly no fear of being cheated on.

Women now go as far as getting IVF from anonymous donors just to get babies. Some just adopt, while some hook up randomly and never bother to tell the father that a baby exists, after all, she can afford to take care of the baby.

Hitting it straight now, my thoughts would be what kind of life do you want your child to live?

Just like yours?

Now, I think again about why people get married. For companionship and reproduction. (Those are the two most important)

Having read the book ‘Five Love Languages’ I learnt something very important. ‘Love is a choice’ it doesn’t erase the past but it makes the future different. It’s about being able to make sacrifices without being selfish about it.

It matters however that both parties are involved. Otherwise one gets frustrated.

No matter how independent you might claim to be, you need a masculine support at one time or the other.

There is definitely someone out there for you. You just need to lower your ego and get it right.

No matter how hard at heart you might be, you would definitely have a soft spot whenever you meet a couple with kids.

Raising a child alone isn’t easy and there will be trying times when you need a shoulder to lean on.

Someone to share the joy and the pains with.

You will always need a second opinion on every important issue.

Most importantly, the child will grow up and leave you someday and you are left with your husband (companion)

Gary Chapman says that someone has to keep that emotional tank full. You need a companion to do that.

“Single mom by choice”, definitely not a good idea for me.

I pray we won’t be victims of the other choice.(Amen)

Meanwhile in other news, Obama won !!!!. Another four (4) years as President of the United States.

Kudos to you, a Job well done.

Michelle is a very Lucky Lady.

Mitt, sowie, just not your turn yet.

I read his winning speech and as usual he was on point.

The Obama family is one I admire so much. (I actually had them in mind when I wrote my last post ‘Boy or Girl’).

Beautiful tinz still happening.

*wink*wink* @ AK.

(I think this is my longest post)

Enjoy the rest of your week.

‡Zingerthots‡

Boy or Girl

Mama na ….. (Boy or girl)

New thot.

"Gender issue".

What is in the sex of children who are gifts from God?

A gift no man can create and give you.

It’s not sold in the market neither is it online.

You can ask for it and God has the option of giving you or not.

Even when he is gonna give you; he determines the time to do it.

You have no control over what you get.

So why would you discriminate? Why would you say I want a boy or it’s a girl I want?

What you are making a choice over, someone else would gladly accept whatever comes their way due to years of delay and waiting on God.

Boy or girl doesn’t matter at all

Accept what you get.

It shouldn’t all be about the family name.

That’s d tales from the past.

most times people accept whatever comes as the first, but start stressing on subsequent ones.

There is hardly anything a man can do that a woman won’t be able to do (except ……. #clears throat), so what’s the fuss all about?

Big ups to my Mom. Four wonderful ladies and a charming gentle Man. She couldn't have asked for a better combination.

There was this story I heard of a man who wanted a male son badly after 3 female children already. At the fourth attempt he refused to show up at the hospital the moment he heard the news that his wife delivered a baby girl again. Kilode? Tell me he won’t spoil a male son silly when he finally comes.

Honestly, the discrimination is peculiar to some cultures, but nevertheless individuals have their own personal drives for what they want.

Not wanting a girl says a lot about what value you attach to the feminine gender. We are your Mom, Sister, Aunty, Niece, and Grandma and so on. The male folks can’t do it alone.

Appreciate God for whatever he has given you and mold it to your desire.

My thots as usual.

Yours might be different. Feel free to express it.

#zingerthots#