Monday, 25 February 2013

Too perfect.

It’s been a while I posted. I remember the bashing I got from my last post. Not nice at all. Anyway, I don’t  mind the criticism at all. Though, all of them except one came via pings and word of mouth. No wahala, as long as the message is passed,(it was scary sha.)
My “Not so perfect “post, was actually ‘Too perfect”. Lol.  I figured ‘pretty’ (the wife) was going to get old fast with the kind of boring routine stress she was going through on a daily basis considering that there is no kid yet. When the baby comes, it will be double stress.  And the husband was doing the opposite. Well, my scenario didn’t capture a bad day or a time where the couple had one crisis or the other. (That will be a book already if continued). Still bruised from the bashing I hadn’t figured out what to do in my next post, to correct the impression or I should just move on and act like I was on point. Anyway I got a way out last week when I watched the old movie “Obsessed” staring Beyonce Knowles and Idris Elber(frankly, he is good-looking and charming). Truth be told, I just watched the movie  for the first time. Initially when I started I was happy that I had the close to perfect scenario and *Boom* the hitches surfaced.  I wont go on telling you all about it because I am sure most of you have seen the it. Derek (Idris Elber) had what every man would wish for in Beyonce and his son. However, like the saying goes, if Mohammed won’t go to the mountain, the mountain will come to Mohammed. Derek didn’t look for trouble but trouble came looking for him. Really, the temptation was there but considering the wonderful life he lived with his wife and son, he didn’t want anything to stain the close to perfect home they had built. Alas…….The troubles will come in whatever form; family issues, insecurity, work pressure, financial issues, peer pressure and loads of others. However I believe they are all issues that can be walked over. (Although they might be difficult). It’s a mindset, looking beyond the challenges in front of you makes the difference.  If there is one thing I ask for daily from God, it is patience. That is a priceless virtue and it takes Grace to have it. I keep wanting more of it because you can never have enough when we face the challenges of life day in day out. One other important thing to learn from the movie is the duty of disclosure. Be open as much as possible to your partner, not keeping anything from each other. What you see as irrelevant might actually make so much difference. Not going to write much, just making amends and trying to buttress my points. Please don’t send your hard knocks (just kidding, feel free). I won’t be talking on this again.
As usual, loads of activities all around me. First I want to give kudos to a wonderful team I worked with in church over the last couple of weeks. I never knew I had the organizing spirit in me, at least not so strong. Pulled it off and I was proud of myself and most importantly I thank God. Praise Fowowe in the same car with me talking one on one? (My head is still swelling). That was one powerful message he delivered yesterday. Sorry, I wish I could get the message across to you somehow or better still share some nuggets from it with you some other time. I must admit however that it was a stressful weekend for me, and I add “very stressful”. A Big thank you to Bebe. Looking forward earnestly to next weekend, I can hardly wait.*wink*.
To other mind bugging things, na real wa for me o!!!. I can be very dramatic, not spontaneous sha Maybe I am no longer sure of what I am capable of doing. I know that, what you say is actually different from what you can do. There are some things, which are way beyond our control. Not knowing the difference between left and right. (I didn’t say right or wrong). I keep saying it can only get better. Yes it is getting better, the twist is just unpredictable. Like my boss would say, You are confusing yourself and confusing everybody. Don’t mind me.
What else? My best pally at work has just been transferred to another branch, *sadface*.  I will survive.
Then, a couple of old contacts surfaced last week. I know it’s all good sha (truth is I don’t think so).
Goldie was laid to rest today, RIPP. God will grant her eternal rest and comfort her family.
Posting on a Monday is odd. I wonder where I got the strength. Sleep beckons.
Lovely night peeps.

Friday, 15 February 2013

Close To Perfect.

I am a young married man.
I wake up on a cold Monday morning, say my prayers, straight off to the bathroom; the water is warm, and just perfect for the weather.  After my bath I get dressed, well ironed suit and shirt, shoe and socks in place and I head out of the room. I meet my beautiful wife downstairs all set with my breakfast and lunch packed. We say our joint prayers and step out of the house. The car is clean and ready to hit the road, I gave the houseboy a couple of instructions and we set out. Pretty, (pet name for my wife), starts a light conversation about her lil sis and something silly she did over the weekend we laughed over it and it was just about time for her alight at her office. A quick peck and off she goes.  Almost immediately my phone rings, ignoring I drove on, I would call back later. A few minutes later I pulled into the car park in front of my office and alight. Picked up my tab and diary and went straight inside. With a smile on my face I greeted the receptionist and the office assistant that stopped to help me with my stuff. It’s the first day of the week and it’s a routine that we have a couple of meetings.  
Fast forward, its 2pm and I want to have lunch remembered “pretty” . I place a call to her and she sounds excited as usual. Spent a couple of minutes summarizing the day so far, and ended the call.
Its 6pm. “pretty” should be home now preparing dinner.  She closes earlier than me and joins the staff bus home. Dinner is always an exciting affair because it’s not routine. I like surprises and look forward to what is new on her recipe every day.
A few minutes later I set out for home and with slight traffic and a stopover at the drycleaner, I am home.
Pretty is there as usual to settle me in.
A cold shower and my meal.
No Football matches today. We cuddled on the sofa and talked about the day in general and as usual, I start dozing off. Pretty leaves to finish up her chores in the kitchen and she calls on me for prayers and we go to bed. That’s a day well spent.
A quick view of the weekend.
Stay up late in bed till around 9am. Breakfast follows and we set out to the options of the day. These could be; attending an occasion; wedding birthday……, go to the  cinemas, go swimming, go visit a friends/relative, we could have them around as well( especially on the days I want to watch football). We could stay indoors and spend quality time together, I could hang out with the boys and she with the ladies and come back to laugh our heads off, and a whole lot of other things. We never run out of options. Sundays are strictly devoted to God and relaxing.I can’t wait to have my kid, pretty is in her first trimester.
End of scenario.
The guy seems to have a perfect storyline. No hassles, Pretty is good for him and he is content.
How close to perfect can a life be?
I am going to focus on what is right about this couple.
Companionship, love, flexibility in their routine especially on weekends.Importantly the place of God is unshaken in the home.
Pretty does it right always. Makes the meals fun with the excitement that comes with it.
Every lady wants this.
Every sane man would want this.
The big question is this, what effort would you put in to make it perfect?
Pretty sure does a lot. Right from when her husband wakes up till he steps out to work, it’s a seamless flow. The water is warmed the shoes and clothes are in place, the food is ready. What more can a sane guy want?
I would turn the tables round and say I would do my bit as a lady in the house and expect all the love and support I can get in return.
What extra effort would you put in to make it right?
I am not there yet, but I am preparing for when I get there.
Y’all  notice I tried my hands on something different. The scenario. Trying to freestyle. Pls criticize baby blogger(growing up tho).
Added a star to my cap today, Deronk. Thanks for that sisterly talk today. I started crushing the crush already. *grinning*.
Yesterday was valentine. How did you spend it. I spent it well.
There was a cake in the house, courtesy me. Designed by Taiwo Taiwo, at a very economic price. He tried. (Is he a learner? lol).  Jummy danced round the office singing Indian song*rolling eyes* it was really fun, someone got drinks for the house as well.
Usually wouldn’t do all that but I just wanted something different. It worked.
I didn’t wear anything red o!!.
Bebe, I should meet my share of your cake over the weekend or else……
It’s another weekend enjoy it and save some strength for Monday.
(please when is the next public holiday?).
Love you all.

Sunday, 10 February 2013

Does It Matter What They Think?

Zinger is writing when everyone is watching football. AFCON 2013 finals. Nigeria Vs. Burkina faso.
I have lost count of the number of times I have been to the sitting room to check on what is happening whenever I hear the noise from the neighbours. My Bro-Inlaw has told me to just sit and watch the match instead of roaming up and down, but I simply can’t. Abeg the tension is too much.
I will rather do more fulfilling things for now after all I have the faith they will win (silent thoughts). AK said I am not patriotic. I really am o!
I have been away for over a week and it feels too long to keep my page idle. I have a handful of thoughts I want to share. I scribble them down in my small note once It crosses my mind and one of such is matured enough to be let out.
Does it matter what they think?
Who are they? Friends.
I grew up having few friends. Few people I share my thoughts with.
Now I am all grown up (not really).
Making correct choices in life shouldn’t be influenced by what my friends might think neither should it be in line with what they choose.
Two prominent areas we make this mistakes is in relationship and career.
I would say it’s more evident in relationships.
Having to agree to date a lady/guy and the first thing that flashes through you head is what will my friends think of her in terms of looks, class and other factors you might consider important.
It makes sense to choose someone you are happy with. He/she is what you want not what they want. You are in it not them. Does it matter what they think?
Yeah, I understand the fact that sometimes we tend to make mistakes especially when we are blinded by love and a friend could be in a position to call you to order but really that is when you miss road na.
When you have to consider the factors I mentioned earlier (looks, class…) in line with what your friend would think meets up to standard, then you are a joker.
Personally, I thought I was guilty of it at a stage of my life, but looking back now looking back I don’t think so. (giggling)
My choice of a career is so weird, I walked into it myself. People ask me why and I tell them it’s what I want. I didn’t have to lose focus and follow the bandwagon to wherever they were heading to.
During the week I read the story of Late Otunba Ghadaffi, the founder of Mobile Toilet.  He was an aide to Late MKO Abiola. During a wedding ceremony of one of MKO’s children he observed that most of the guests were roaming around looking for the toilet that was non existent. The idea came up from there and the man died a millionaire. I am double sure he may have run his idea through a few friends who would have laughed at him considering the job as quite dirty.
Just like Pastor Sam would say, do not ask for opinions on ideas generated. Hear from God and act fast. opinions gives you room to fall back.
The fact remains that when there are challenges the people you put into consideration, will not be there for you. They probably didn’t even know they may have influenced your choice by their actions, and you are left to face the music alone (abi its dance to the music?)
Guys, she doesn’t have to be look like Agbani Darego cos ur friend’s wife looks like one. Do you know what kind of person she is at home? Guys like going out with their partner and look forward to catching the faces of their friends admiring her. Loadz of examples of people I know who do this.
Ladies, he doesn’t have to be so handsome, when it’s not like you are all that pretty. He should be a good husband and father to your kids. No be fine boy we go chop na.After all,  beauty is on the inside.
I hope I am making sense. This is just a small aspect of it. There are a whole lot of other things involved.
I wish I could write more, but you could have your thoughts on this and digest it. You never can say, you might be on the wrong path, never too late to change paths.
Your career and relationships are lifetime commitments.
Just in time the match is over. I am already in the sitting room with my Laptop.
You see…… I am a Patriotic Nigerian!!!!
Congratulations to the super eagles and to all Nigerians.
Congrats to me too on my 30th post. i am trying. I gat to knock 100 before the year runs out.
Its a new week.
Happy valentine to you all.
I changed my mind, now I am going to have a small cake for val. Courtesy me. I am giving myself a treat. Jummy motivated me to do it cos she wanted to eat cake at all cost. Though it s not the chocolate cake you want but cake na cake.
Y’all have a wonderful week.

Sunday, 3 February 2013

What really happened?

On Tuesday 29th January 2013, I had an experience I will never forget in a hurry.
What really happened?
As usual I was going home from work in the staff bus and usually I just relax and doze or I use the opportunity to answer mails or messages I couldn't attend to during work hours. This particular day I was catching up with a couple of mails I receive daily on an on-line coaching programme. I was quite engrossed and couldn't even define the pace at which the staff bust was moving; fast or not.  All of a sudden, there was this heavy impact from the back of the bus and I realized I was scrambling to hold onto something to keep me from falling off and hitting my head. The bus was still in motion and I could feel us climbing the kerb and the smell of smoke and oil engulfed the bus and eventually it came to a halt.
We all rushed out of the bus. I was actually the only lady left in the bus at that time.
What did we see when we alighted from the bus?
A car behind us with the bonnet and engine badly squashed and another car on the side walk with the booth and bumper completely squashed as well. Meanwhile the entire rear windscreen of our bus was gone and the guys sitting at the back were just lucky they didn’t have any glass cuts.
What really happened, the impact was from the car behind us and it was so much that the bus went to hit the car in front of it, by God’s Grace we didn’t swerve to the front of a trailer that was just coming behind us.
This is my first real experience of a road accident. My narration is the best I could get from the story people around said.
The position of the three vehicles involved after the accident did add up perfectly with the narration.
What happened that day made realize there is just a twinkle of an eye between life and death. It could happen so fast.
I was in shock and I didn’t realize it until I got home and was narrating what I could to my mom.
The other cars involved in the accident were driven by women. Infact the woman who hit the bus to start with was a nursing mother and she just couldn’t say much. All she knew was that her airbag popped out. Apparently she dozed off.
The very next day my boss too had an accident. He came to work with a swollen head. “ he couldn’t really explain what happened as well because he was reading a book and the slamming off the brake by his driver jerked him to life.
Life is so valuable yet it can be lost easily and there is no duplicate.
Based on my job we deal with accident vehicles and whenever there is a claim the form is usually filled by claimants in such a way that you wonder if the accident was actually true or fiction. After my experience on Tuesday I realized, if I were to fill an insurance claim form just like now, my story won’t correlate. I asked my boss to and he said the same.
Exactly one year to day my mom was involved in an accident and the same question back then was” what really happened” Thank God she is very ok today.
Its all been about accidents abi? Never mind we have to face the facts once in a while.
God will continue to keep us all in Jesus Name.
It’s a new month the year is moving already
It’s the month of love.
Not like I acknowledge Valentine’s Day. The last time I got a valentine gift was way back 2006. So I would do the usual thing I have done in the past 7years, just like every other day.
Just show some love to everyone around. Stay light hearted, follow peace with all you relate with. And seek forgiveness wherever you might have gone wrong.
Bibi& Dela, you guys are such wonderful friends. I know I can always count on you. I feel lighter already.
Kenny B, get well soon, never seen you down in a very long time.
TY, hmmmm… twas good to talk to u again. As usual your life is always full of drama. I need to get some more from you.
Oh!!, I have another TY, good to see you again out of the blues.
New week, new blessings .
Have a great one.